I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
