Kareoke will never be a sober sport
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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