if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
