Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
