Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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