I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
