THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
