He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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