So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
