HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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