So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
