you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
