I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
