Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Randomize
