actually, I'm a sock model
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
