You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Randomize
