hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
