it was like his penis was on wheels.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
3 2 1 whiskey
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
