you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
