Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
