im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
