One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
