she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
