Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
