Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
