dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
