your room smells of hookers.
And success
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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