When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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