Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
