Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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