Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Randomize
