Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
