No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
