the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
