even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
