I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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