her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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