he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
FUCK WHALES
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
