my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
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