i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
try to milk me bitch
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
