I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
