You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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