The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
