We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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