omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
How does it feel to date your dad?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
