But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
