my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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