You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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