Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
