she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
