Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
