And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
