almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
