Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
