question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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