How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
