Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize