check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Randomize
