sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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