You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
