She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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