Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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