You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
