His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
