Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
