The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
